Bets I’m Willing to Make
I’m willing to stake $100 on each of these outcomes.
Outcome 1. By the end of 2013, a bill will be introduced in a US state or federal legislative body limiting the number of calories that a restaurant can serve a patron in one sitting (soup to nuts). It will, of course, be the restaurant’s obligation to count the number of calories served in a given meal, a costly proposition that increases meal costs (not to mention the menu costs) and will put small restaurants out of business.
But no bother: Who objects to paying $23 for a cheeseburger at T.J. O’Handjobs if Darci, who will be taking care of y’all tonight, is helping to keep our arteries unclogged and our waistlines slender? In this scenario, a dialog could run as follows:
Waiter: How was everything?
Woman: Excellent.
Man: Could we see a dessert menu?
Waiter: For the lady, of course. Though I am afraid sir has already consumed 1400 calories. Would sir care for an espresso or black coffee?
Clearly, this scenario plays out better in a nicer restaurant, preferably the kind where waiters wear poly-blend tuxedos and clip-on bow ties. At T.J.O.’s, they will have a special “Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four” hat they’ll put on you, and the staff will gather around to irrythmically clap and call you names. You’ll be given a celery stalk with a candle on it to celebrate your edacity.
Outcome 2. By the end of 2013, a bill will be introduced in a US state or federal legislative body requiring the registration of the MAC addresses of all networked devices upon point of purchase. For the less geeky amongst you, a MAC (media access control) address is a unique three or five octet identifier permanently assigned to every network adapter or interface card; think of it as your WiFi adapter’s social security number. Every networked device has one or more; your computer, Blackberry, iPhone, Kindle, TiVo, Slingbox, VoIP phone, and perhaps late model car and refrigerator all have them.
Think this is crazy? I bet you thought ten years ago that the idea that you’d have to show a drivers license to a pharmacist and sign a legally binding non-resale agreement to purchase Sudafed was crazy too.
Ostensibly, MAC registration will be done to prevent malicious hackers from accessing the networks that so many companies and households do a piss-poor job of locking down. The sponsoring legislator will probably throw in some half-baked argument about child pornography as well. Of course, any hacker worth his salt can spoof a MAC address, and millions of unregistered network cards are already out there, but hey: it’s for the children.
Anyone care to stake a bet against either of these outcomes? Note that I’m not suggesting that they’ll pass, just that they’ll be introduced. I’ll denominate the bet either in 2010 dollars or 2014 dollars, allowing a meta-bet on near-term inflation.
Takers?
